Official Weigh In:

308 lbs

33.7 % Body Fat

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Shit! Shit! Shit! Ass! Ass! Ass!  This is my one deep thought tonight. I say again FUCK!

How is it possible to work this hard and not take a step forward in either weight or body fat percentage?  I must confess first that I have been weighing myself a bit more frequently than I have been letting on; I have in fact been weighing myself a few times a week.  I am a sucker for numbers and having this type of constant feedback is needed for me to keep a persistent focus on the goal.  At the same time I have been using a weigh in on Sunday morning as my official weight because fluctuations can occur during the week because of water weight retention, dehydration, or over consumption, so keeping the same day of the week as an official weight helps me stay goal oriented each week.

Last Wednesday morning when I weighed myself I weighed 305 lbs.  It was a good feeling only three days into the week and having lost another 3 lbs, I’m not sure what happened the rest of the week because I didn’t over indulge in anything, or workout any harder than I had before, in fact I reduced my total number of workouts by 2.  Essentially what occurred was that I eliminated two cardio sessions; I wonder if those cardio sessions are what made the difference.

The only other thing which could have caused problems is that one of the days this week I underrate, and perhaps that caused my body to go into some type of shock or starvation mode and just decided it was going to hold onto more fat this week.

If not for the brief moment of reflection yesterday, I would feel miserable about this past week, yet this evening I can feel a small twinge of pride knowing how far I’ve come. 

Video from 08/04/2010:

Video from 06/12/2011:

In keeping with staying positive I have also cleared a short list of things I wanted to do or buy when I reached 300 lbs, I’m obviously not quite at 300 but the list is clear:

From a blog post August 2^nd 2009, five goals I had when I reached 300 lbs, I’m still about 8 lbs short of 300 but the short list is clear.

5 – Run 100 Yards without stopping Check!

4 – Buy a new pair of pants. Check!

3 – Get a therapeutic massage (non happy ending massages), because I am now clear to lie on a massage table.  Check!

2- Buy a new pair of shoes, that are actually my size.  Going to buy today!

1- Go eat at a restaurant that only has booths and not be scared that my gut my hang over the table.  Check!

Back to frustration and self pity.

I don’t know how to place the utter confusion I feel, the weeks that I feel fantastic, and feel like I’m having great workouts, which are also the weeks where I have high levels of energy and those end up being the weeks where I lose no weight.  The weeks when I feel like ass, and feel like my mojo is being drained out of me, are the weeks when I lose weight.

Moving into this next week I’m uncertain about what will come of my efforts, I’ve reached a new phase in my evolution one that has left me unsure as to how I will progress.  I can’t imagine anything worse than having two weeks in a row staying the same weight after the efforts I’ve put forth. 

My schedule for this week:

I had members of my family over for dinner tonight.  I purchased steaks at a farmers market earlier in the week, all the meat reared less than 60 miles from where I live, and the beef comes from grass fed cows. 

My brother in law put it best, he said the porterhouse he was eating had the texture and taste of veal.  The meat really did taste better, not only in flavor but in the texture, it seemed to eviscerate in your mouth.   I’m sold on grass fed beef, in fact I loved it so much that I pulled another one out of the freezer and put in the fridge to thaw so I could have it again tomorrow night.  If you haven’t had a grass fed steak, I suggest you go out and buy one today.  Eat it with a mixed salad of arugula, frisee, radicchio, and balsamic dressing with a few pine nuts, and you have the makings of a fantastic “last meal”. 

So ends another week, I can only put my head down and continue to push on into next week.  300 lbs you are becoming an elusive bitch, and really starting to piss me off.  The more you pull away the more I will push towards you.