My list of things to differentiate between fat and obese.
FAT – When you eat too much you could use a little extra space in your pants, or loosen your belt buckle.
Obese – When you eat too much you want to strip naked, to allow for all of your fat rolls to unravel and find relief from the confined space that is are your clothes, it's like those surprise capsules you give kids that once you throw in water a spongy letter or animal expands outward.
FAT – It's hard to find the right size clothes because not every brand sells 2x or 3x. It's okay you can try another department store.
Obese – You have to shop at a specialty store they used to call "Big and Tall" but now call "Casual Male" where George Forman is the marquee spokesperson, so I guess if you are a relaxed kind of person you are obese, they term "Casual Male" is about as fitting as the way people used to politely call you fat back in the day…"Healthy"…
FAT – It can be uncomfortable sometimes or a wee bit tight in certain types of chairs.
Obese – You have to use a shoehorn to fit into any seat with armrests, and every bit of wood furniture you own has been broken and reinforced, like a beater car everything is being held together with duct tape just waiting for that next humiliating event were you are stopped in front of the entire world.
FAT – It's sometimes hard to see your penis.
Obese – What's a penis?
FAT – When you come into a room people notice the fat guy but continue to go about there business.
Obese – When you come into a room people inside say "HOLY SHIT! THAT'S A BIG GUY!", but outwardly they look, then pretend to look at something else and look again to do a double take to make sure they didn't imagine the Sumo wrestler who just walked into the room.
FAT – You walk slower than most people.
Obese – You don't walk anymore you waddle, or pivot, meaning you put all your weight to one side and swing your other side forward then repeat alternating between the right and left fat foot.
FAT – Sometimes you have sore feet you have been walking all day.
Obese – Everyday you have to ritually unwind certain parts of your body, while every joint cracks, it's like listening to a construction with the amount of noise that an obese person's body produces.
FAT – You sweat more than usual, but nothing a little deodorant can't handle.
Obese – Sweating is your job, if all of your sweat were collected on daily basis you could use it to power a hydroelectric plant, Deodorant you say, good luck try after your armpits, come the man boobs, and each overhanging layer of fat.
FAT – When your hungry you can hold it a bit more, and sometimes it might pass.
Obese – When aren't you hungry?
FAT – It's tough to play some sports but you hustle through, it might not be like it was in high school but you hold your own.
Obese – Is getting out of bed in the morning a sport? If walking up a flight of stairs and being winded were an Olympic event you would be Michael Phelps.
FAT – You laugh at obese people with your lean friends, but secretly say (fuck I better watch out and not get that big).
Obese – You wish you were just fat. Oh how the world would be different.