I was walking my dog last night with an injured ankle from a fat guy ankle rolling (for those uniformed fat people twist their ankles by rolling there foot outward, it hurts like a bitch), when some drunken cargo short wearing, scruffy haired, silly pigmentationally challenged douche bag yells out "Hey is that a dog or a squirrel, is that a leash on a squirrel?".

Mind you I am not unaware of the contrast between myself and my dog.  He is a Westie that weighs about 15lbs, while I am a whopping 381 lbs.  I at times come up with my own description, or metaphor that I would use if I were a scrawny douchey kid who has to live on Barton Street because I just graduated from ECU and am working as a copy boy for an outrageously queer boss who treats me inferior because I spent more time in school figuring out how to tap a keg then school work.  I would say something like "Hey Shrek please don't Eat DONKEY!" or "Hey Jabba let princess Leia go!" or even "Hey Fatty you didn't have to bring fresh meat to the BBQ!".  Anyone of the above would be far more creative then the squirrel comment.

MY DOG:

What's the point?

This moment is one of many that give anyone who is obese social anxiety.  I am deathly afraid of going outside into a public environment.  I am even more scared of going out to bars or any place where the the square footage is inadequate for the number of people present, anytime I go out with my friends I have to get completely tanked or I can't make it through the night, furthermore the drunker I get the less I tend to sweat, which in turn makes it more tolerable.  The sweating being just another one of the many gifts that come with being obese.  (self induced gifts mind you)

People today are so used to obese people the shock and awe of 10 years ago is gone, they don't blatantly stare and overtly comment on your weight, now a days the attitude is more subtle.  Perhaps more sinister because as an obese person I can't identify who the bad guys or assholes are anymore.  You wouldn't believe the number of times I've walked down the hall in my building and seen strangers passing each other give a courtesy "hello" and then intentionally avoid eye contact as I walk past them.  This has become such a common occurrence that I overtly greet people now as to delineate between the assholes and the shy.

I can't believe how insulating being obese is, it's as if the fat cells you carry are like tiny emotional bricks that build a castle around you preventing you from connecting with anyone.  My pursuit of weight loss is not only a physical one it's an emotional one, imagine living everyday of your life were you aren't comfortable in your own skin.  Let alone taking a walk with your dog in your neighborhood and having some "CACK" call you out on the obvious.  I like to call my dog and I the disproportional relationship.