05/06/2011 Holy shit…it’s alive!
Over the past week I have gone from sick, to cracked out junkie walking the streets of Clarendon, to drunken guy sleeping in his clothes, to bad pet owner, and finally back to myself at least for a couple of hours. My much anticipated period of rest next week came a little earlier than expected.
After my morning cardio session on Monday I was feeling pretty good, and thought I would be in a good place this week. As the day went on, I started to feel chills in my body, and tired. I went home an hour early from work, and thought I should take a break from lifting and just get some rest. I took Benny for a walk and realized that halfway through the walk that I was winded. I mean really winded, breathing heavy, and needing to stop for air.
In the recent past I would have never known the difference because, for as hard as I was working out, I wasn’t doing much cardio, so getting winded was normal. I was so FUCKING out of shape that it would have been hard for me to know when I was sick. How could you when you ALWAYS feel tired, and shitty.
When I woke up Tuesday morning, I wasn’t feeling much better. I happen to have a doctor’s appointment this day, as I needed a copy of medical records for my first visit with the Endocrinologist the next day. It’s at the doctor’s office I started to realize how tired I really was, I took a nap in the waiting area, and needed the nurse to come tap me on the shoulder when it was my turn. After going through the usual dance of weight, blood pressure, and why you are here, the nurse took me back to a room, where I again took a nap in one of the doctors examining rooms.
My Doctor is Asian efficient, not much small talk, quick to the point questions, and then action, after a brief examination she told me that I had an upper respiratory infection, and probably the start of an ear-infection. I remember asking her how long I should not workout to rest, she looked at me like dummy why are you asking me this? She sighed and told me take a couple of days off but use your best judgment. I was thinking, hell I’ll take today off and get back on the horse tomorrow.
Oh, how fateful that sentiment would soon become, after the doctor’s appointment, I went home early for the second day in a row and took the dog for a walk. This time I was really having a hard time getting around the block, walking just a mile took me more than 26 minutes which is about 5 minutes too long even with my dog pooping, and marking every remnant of any recently passed canines. It was also on this walk I realized how “off” I felt, the way light reflected off o f the paint of cars on the street, the way the sun sat in the sky, and the way my muscles felt, not just sore but weak too.
The next day being the tough guy that I am decided to keep my appointment with the endocrinologist, the deep tissue massage, and my personal training session. The previous two days worth of sessions I had canceled with Zap, and I had it in my mind I wasn’t going to cancel my Wednesday’s session with Ali, and I also figured at this point I could use a really good sweat.
My visit with the endocrinologist was good, he changed my diabetes medication, first reducing the dosage of my present medication, and then changing the medication to one that has less of a risk of me becoming hypoglycemic. My blood sugar has dropped so much that under the present dosage of the same medication that I am on, I was at risk of becoming hypoglycemic. I was waking up in the morning to Blood sugar Levels of less than 45 which is dangerously low. I believe this contributed to my psychotic incidents throughout the rest of the day.
After my appointment with my doctor I got back in the car and had to take a nap. I slept for about 40 minutes in the car, in the parking lot of the doctor’s office, and then drove home. Even before the doctor’s office I was feeling sick, but I was also beginning to have persistent chills, and shakes.
I felt like I was going through some type of withdrawal, like a heroin addict withdrawing from heroine. When I got home from the doctors my legs and feet felt strange, they weren’t numb, or tingly, but almost vacant, like these appendages were borrowed from some else’s body.
I had to take my dog out for a walk, when Benny and I started the walk we started, on a route that I normally take with him in the morning. About 10 minutes into the walk I realized I had no idea where the fuck I was going, it wasn’t just the Asian in me getting lost, I just couldn’t keep a clear though about where I wanted to go, or what my plan was, I started to wonder and ended up in front of the Apple Store.
I saw someone I know at the Apple store, a casual acquaintance, and that person said something to me, and I tried to describe something to them, but only got out a bunch of mumbling. I smiled at the person and walked out of the store with no explanation as to why I left our conversation prematurely. When I stepped outside of the Apple Store the sunlight made my eyes feel as if I had just stepped out of a limo on the Vegas strip after a night of trying to reenact the “Hangover”. I turned around went back into the Apple Store took two steps into the store, and then realized that the light in the store was making me feel like I had stepped into some fucked up dream, so I went back out and started walking up the street again.
I can’t imagine what the people in the Apple Store thought, or what the casual acquaintance thought, they must have thought I was coked out, or stoned.
I crossed the street and walked into another store. Really another store? This time I walked into a Lululemon Store. If you don’t know what that is, thank god you don’t it started as a store purely for Yoga wear, but has turned into somewhat of a phenom of a business as they charge $68.00 for a pair of running shorts, and $100 for yoga pants. The company’s stock is trading at $95.00 today, I don’t get it, but apparently they have figured something out. They have created the “Tipping Point” which Malcolm Caldwell writes about in his best seller. I will say as a side note, gentlemen, if you have ever gone to a gym with lots of young women, and wondered how they all have such perfect asses, I assure they are wearing Lululemon, so for this bit of cultural evolution thanks Lulu.
Back to the point, so I walked into this store for what purpose I don’t know. I picked out two pairs of shorts and a running shirt for mi mujere, the crazy thing was we had been in this store the night before or the day before and bought the exact same items in different colors. Making this purchase must have been painful for the people working there, I first picked out a pair of shorts that she already had, and then walked back to the rack, barely listened to what the girl working there said to me, and picked another pair of shorts. I then walked back to the counter, and walked back to the rack. I found a shirt and asked some bumbling questions about size, then fumbled through the rack looking for her size. I must have appeared 100% like a sociopath, or someone who was going to take these clothes home, and either put them on the corpse underneath my bed, or roll around in them in my bed with imaginary wife.
I remember one of the young ladies working there commenting about my dog, and his fur, Westies have a double coat, so one is really soft; the other is course like hair. She said something about this, and I restated exactly what she said to me in another way kind of like in grade school when they teach you to restate the question as the first line in your response to a short answer problem, she must have thought thanks weirdo, and do you always repeat what other people say?
I got the hell out of this place as quickly as possible. I crossed the street and happened to be in front of my gym, when I saw my trainer. I again mumbled some crazy shit, but he was in a rush to get somewhere so he left.
I somehow was able to find my home. I rested for an hour, and then drove to my massage appointment. Yes after all of this I drove somewhere. An hour of torturous hell later, I was feeling loose limber, and ready for a nap. I almost drove my truck off the road twice driving back home after my massage. Getting back into my parking garage was interesting. I backed a corner of my truck into one of the structural columns that were a battle I lost quickly.
When I managed to get back to my condo, I opened the door, walked to my room, and just laid in the bed. This was roughly the time my body shut down completely. I did manage at some point to wake up long enough to cancel my personal training with Ali.
I fell asleep, one leg off the bed, one leg on top of the blanket and some dirty laundry. It was 3:00 PM; I stayed in this position until roughly 10:00 AM the next day.
Occasional Benny would get up look at me realize I wasn’t going anywhere and make himself comfortable in the bed next to my head. He must have repeated this cycle 6 or 7 times throughout my slumber.
Thursday was spent sleeping. I slept the majority of the day on Thursday. When I awoke in the evening of Thursday I felt slightly better, but all I wanted was more sleep. Friday morning I got up took the mutt for a walk, and was going to get on with my day, when I started to feel crappy again. At this point I couldn’t tell if I was still sick, or just developing a bad habit of sleeping during the day. I read a post of a friend of mine who recently had major surgery, and he had posted that he had just done a “Miracle Mile” around the hospital. This is what I needed to break my funk/sick days.
I went to work today, worked a little more than a half day, and then had a personal training session with Ali, and an hour of Cardio. I did a session of treading.
My work out details will posted later on in the day, my absent mindedness forgot to ask for the camera back from Ali this evening. I have an 8:00 AM session with him tomorrow.
All in all I learned this week, first you can be too fucking out of shape to know that you are sick, second I was able to get back on the horse even after a little bit of stumble, and finally I have to keep my mind in a right place, much of the pessimistic, that I had been feeling leading up to my illness I believe were somewhat of a catalyst to my getting ill. I am going to work extremely hard to keep my mind straight and positive even more than I do now.