Day 30 After Biggest Loser Malibu

Day 30 A month after the Biggest Loser Malibu

In the morning I got in a final Cardio session at the Borgata.  I did a treading session on the elliptical trainer, starting with 6 minutes as my longest leg and at a resistance level of 25.  After my final recovery minute I ramped the machine back up to resistance 25 and stayed there for 5 more minutes.  At the 50 minute mark I went ahead and did a Miracle Mile with the resistance level set to 10.  The mile took 5:33, I completed the hour by ramping the resistance level back up to 25 for another 4:26. 

My family and I spent a few more hours gambling, I burned a hundred bucks desperately chasing a slot progressive which I thought I would certain to win.  Too bad, they got another $100 from me, and I didn’t even get a thank you.

The drive back from New Jersey was fun, as it’s been quite some time since I’ve had a chance to just shoot the breeze with my sister.  We talked about quite a few topics everything from the dichotomy of having an Asian husband who’s a Reagnite, to my desire to have a cult like following like Tony Robbins, to the fact that both of my parents in the back seat were like two kids after a day at the park, passed out as soon as the car was put into drive.

We stopped a couple of times, once to a secret privileged outing, and once more to eat dinner at Woody’s Crab House in North End, MD which has phenomenal crabs, apparently though on this night we were SOL because they were all out of Maryland Blue crabs by the time we got there… 

About the time my sister commented on the fact that she has never seen me consume as much water as I had the last three days, I had a sudden urge to pee.  It became so intense I had to exit off the highway relatively close to my parent’s home, and pee along a park trail.  It was the best pee of my life, the best!  The pissing scene from the front seat of the car, imagine Tom Hanks in League of Their Own, but larger and Asian, and not suffering from a hangover.

On the ride back home I had a bit of time to reflect on the last month of my life.  How dramatically things can change.  My entire future has been altered by the last two months, I’ve added years back onto my life, and a whole new array of doors has opened.

Every time we had a choice at a meal, I actually asked for a booth!  Yes the guy, who used to want to take the host or hostess and throw them through a plate glass window because of the number of times he had been squeezed into a booth, is now asking for them by request.  Could it be because I fit in them now?

Further reflection gave me the chance to think about the changes that I’m experiencing and how real and permanent they feel.  I am sure at some point I will have moments of intense doubt, and fear, and possibly regress a bit, but I will never again feel out of control about my eating, and health. 

I watched a documentary about children with Autism and this fantastic school in Austin, TX.  It was started by a couple of mothers whose children have Autism.  They are teaching their autistic kids to communicate with the outside world. 

Children previously diagnosed by doctors to be too far gone, or having no hope, or having no feasible way of learning to understand the world, or how to relate to it, through the determination of one mother have found a way to give their autistic kids at a chance at self sufficiency. 

There’s one child whose reflex is to bite his mother, when you first see him you think oh poor child, poor family, then you hear he wants to be a stockbroker.  Initially you think what the fuck?

But during a competition sponsored by a publication were people play with fake money, in a 60 day period he picked stocks with a 24% return, and finished in the top 4% of the entire competition.  This was with professional money managers.  Again what the fuck?  The center is called Halo-Soma.  There website is here.  The documentary is called "A Mother's Courage: Talking Back to Autism”. 

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Now if Soma (mother) and Tito (son) can find a way to communicate fully with one another battling Autism, those of us battling weight should thank god, the heavens, or the earth that all that we battle is inside of us.  Like Soma we have to find another way.  Her innovative teaching technique rather trying to coral the symptoms of Autism uses the need of stimulation to create the type of stimulation that allows these children to learn, and eventually to interact with family and friends. 

My battle, and those who are dealing with weight issues,  all of it is within our own minds, and our own hearts.  We can overcome those obstacles which we choose to overcome.  If we struggle every day then the choice has not been made. 

Perhaps you have made the choice in your conscious mind, but you haven’t found the message, or if you have found the message you haven’t delivered it yet to wake up the subconscious mind the controlling mind.  You can find a way, it’s their within ourselves, I believe I have found the way that pushes me.   

I choose to control my life.  I choose to educate myself in those areas which I do not understand, and make the choices which will better my life forever, and no longer wish to stay mired in the momentary feeling which prevents me from acting.   I choose to act on my desire to pursue excellence. 

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