01/08/2012 Paleo Challenge Day 3

01/09/2012 Day 3 Paleo Challenge

Monday Morning Weigh In — 269 lbs

I started off my morning feeling significantly better than yesterday, although still a bit sluggish.  Slim Shady gave me some advice yesterday and told me that I should try and snack less, and increase what I eat at meal times.  I am planning on doing this but I’m still trying to make sure I get 200 grams of protein, and the elimination of protein shakes leaves me eating Chicken, Turkey, and Eggs.  I have to space these a bit, because eating 4-6 eggs during the day can get difficult, because the yolks are hard to put down.  It may just come down to at some point adding egg whites to everything I eat.

I am starting taking Vitamin D, and Fish Oil Today, 3 pills of Vitamin D at breakfast, and 3 each of Fish Oil at each meal.  I also order a digestive support supplement and herbal stress pill recommended by some angry white person.  I am hoping these items help to overcome some of the issues with sugar, and my dependence on the white mans crack.

I am still thoroughly angry about learning this week that one of my tools in my arsenal was probably at the heart of my inability to lose weight over the last 5 months.  How could I lose weight when every chance I got I was drinking water laced with sugar, in hindsight I realized that I didn’t start using the Nuun Natural Hydration tablets at the Biggest Loser Resort until the end of the second week, which is also the last week I lost weight at the resort.

The third week at the Ranch I really pushed the shit out of my workouts, and had some off the best output during my time there, yet I lost no weight.  The only thing that changed was my reliance on Nuun Natural Hydration tablets. 

I could be making a false connection here, but it would explain my issues since last summer, I don’t think I’ll truly know until after the Paleo Challenge and I reintroduce small amounts of fruits and nuts.

In weighing myself this morning I’ve returned to the weight that I was December 12th 2011, so today for me is the true starting line.  

Today was a rest day, so no workout.  In terms of my eating you can read my food log here…day 3 of the Paleo diet went significantly better than the previous two days, I feel like I’ve hit my Paleo Stride.  This is good considering how early in the challenge we are, I have to just be consistent here from on out.  I’m sure there are hurdles I will need to cross which I haven’t anticipated, but my confidence in my ability to pursue this methodology without compromise is extremely high. 

After a series of obnoxious questions to the coaches, and in particular Brian I know what I can’t eat, and what I have to eat, so this part is easy.  The only pitfall I foresee is making sure I get enough sleep, because when I become sleep deprived I start shoving shit into my mouth without regard for what I’m eating, or where it came from. 

Phone Call from Brian

I got an e-mail today form Brian right before lunch, about wanting to talk.  I replied to him "Am I going to be admonished for my trash talking?"  His e-mail to me about a phone call had me conjuring images of being sent to the principal’s office for spitting spit balls in to the hair of the girls who sat in front of me.   I of course could not have thought of any other reason he would want to contact me than someone in the Paleo Challenge getting tired of my incessant posting about my guaranteed victory.

Brian called me a few minutes after twelve to find out how I was doing, being the subtle guy he is, he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking this too seriously.  I think one of the coaches read my blog, and thought I might be taking this too seriously and that if I don’t win then I might do something rash, like eating Twinkies until I die from a diabetic coma.

When he told me this I started laughing my ass off, I haven’t laughed this hard in quite some time.  It was clear that this phone call was a CYA moment; you have to love those Marines chagrining hard, and making sure to cover your ass.  I joked that I could see the headline, man loses Body Transformation Competition, and hangs himself with pig intestines, and family sues Gym for 1 Trillion Dollars.

So to put it on the record so that PCF and B. Wilson never see a 1 Trillion Dollar lawsuit, I obsolve the PCF, and it’s community of coaches, and owners from any action that I may cause to myself as a result of the Paleo Challenge.  That’s my fuck you to any ambulance chasers. 

There is no reason to worry about what might happen if I lose the Paleo Challenge, first I won’t lose so it’s sort of like talking about what happens if Aliens Land on Clarendon Blvd. it’s a waste of time discussing, and second I’M ANGRY ASIAN, not DEPRESSED ASIAN, so if I were to lose and go over the deep end I would probably just go to a public area and mow people down with a “hunting rifle” which looks an AK-47, thanks NRA.

Post Paleo Challenge Meltdown

My New Best

I bought myself a food steamer; this is such a great tool.  I plan on getting a dehydrator to make my own jerky, and a deep fryer to fry shit, because apparently if you fry food in Paleo Friendly oil without shit on it, it's Paleo, thanks cavemen.


 Paleo Challenge Advice for Redmeat From Alton Brown

The first time I did this to some grassfed beef it made it taste oh so much better.


Retail Beef Cuts



4 responses on “01/08/2012 Paleo Challenge Day 3

  1. anon

    Have you used the whole 9 fish oil calculator? It told me I needed to take 32 fish oil pills a day to get the proper amount of EPA and DHA. Try it yourself and determine how much you are getting from those little pills, it might require switching to a more potent liquid form.

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