Groundhog Day, a Harold Ramous movie starring Bill Murray is fantastic. Easily in my top 10 favorite movies of all time. This scene in the movie happens after Bill’s character experiences the reality of living life without any consequences, repeating the same day over and over. His emotional response is a combination of boredom, and frustration.
What’s the point of living when you don’t make any progress?
This is how I feel about yesterday. I repeated a pattern which has become the hallmark of my present state of fatness. Here’s my schedule:
- 5:30 AM – Take Benny for a walk.
- 6:30 AM – Look at my treadmill, and start working on loose ends, cleaning up my inbox.
- 8:30 AM – Drop off Benny at Wag More Dogs (I know insane), visit a couple of properties, go to the bank and head to the office.
- 10:00 AM – Office Start Working
- 2:30 PM – Finally take time to eat a meal.
- 8:00 PM Leave the office, which means I have to board Benny at daycare.
- 8:30 PM Get home and eat my last bag of Doritos.
- 11:30 PM Go to bed after finishing side project work.
- Sleep, repeat, and start-over.
While I took three of my ModPaleo meals with me to the office, I only ate one. What’s worse I did not take with me the plastic utensils I’ve been hoarding from every takeout place in Arlington County. So I ate two meatballs with my hands. I couldn’t figure out a way to eat the veggies without getting my hands covered in crap.
Surprisingly I wasn’t hungry, I was too focused on my work. I only ate late in the afternoon because the lack of energy was putting me to sleep. I am only a day into changing my eating habits, but I know today was the self-realization of a consistent pattern. A pattern which has put in a physical state of over 300 lbs, a place I promised myself I’d never return.
I am also acutely aware the first day of eating clean, or controlling my appetite tends to be the easiest. As day 2 begins I find myself planning when I to eat, otherwise I will probably work through my meals. Whenever I start back on the path of righteous eating, I go two or three days consuming less and not feeling hungry. Its normally around day three I start to feel the gaps between meals more acutely. Today will serve a big test of self control, not in my food choices but in taking time to stop working and eat. Tomorrow, and the day after will serve larger challenges in remaining consistent. Today I can only focus on doing what I can control today.
So as the day begins, I have my old man bag full of stolen plasticware, two more meals , and the goal of regulating my intake better today.