04/23/2011 My name is Lou Cortes.
When Cortes landed in Vera Cruz he arrived with a variable armada, it is debated whether or not his decision to scuttle all but one ship was a result of wanting to steal the loyalty of his men by making it absolutely clear that there was no chance of fleeing to Cuba, or it was to prevent an oncoming mutiny, the truth was clear there would be no other choice but to follow Cortes wherever he went. Not being a historian I don’t know how accurate anything I’ve read is, but I do know the symbolism of his actions wasn’t mistaken by anyone then or today.
In my act of emulating Herman Cortes, I’m throwing out any clothes that have fat guy stretchy material, and anything that is too big for me. Any type of clothing which can be used as drapery to hide my body, or hide the shame of overeating, they are all out the door. I cleared out about half of my wardrobe, in another 10 days I think I’ll be ready to clear everything out. I bought a new belt when I got back from Malibu, it is two sizes smaller than my last one, and I’m already on the third hole.
I think I’m at a weight that I’ve been at before, except I am significantly more fit than my previous visit to this number. I feel athletic, and I feel 1000% better. I actually don’t recall feeling this energetic when I was thin.
When I started on this course a few years back I had reached my all time personal low in self-esteem, and personal high in weight of 443 lbs. I think when I weigh in tomorrow I’ll be close to the 333 my recent all time low.
I feel like I’ve reached the first 15 seconds of a minute long exercise. It’s the first quarter of a four quarter game, and I haven’t even gotten my starters in, do I feel like my team is a bunch of bad asses, perhaps…yes.
Throwing the 4 bags of clothes out is a huge psychological step, as the Big and Tall store should have a separate name the Fucking Expensive, and Are You Fucking Crazy Price store. With anything that’s specialized in our economic system everything costs significantly more, example one of the pairs of “easy fit (this is code for yeah this size fits when I’m standing up, but when I sit down and all my rolls get compressed I need some extra real estate)” slacks that I’m throwing out which are of no higher quality or design than that of a generic department store brand, yet they cost anywhere from $65-$75 a pair. I’m sure part of the cost is the extra fabric which is needed, but clearly specialization plays a larger role in the price being what it is. I have to be relinquishing over $2000 worth of fat guy clothes.
Alas Louis Cortes has no option but to scuttle all of his old ships. I am going to distance myself each and every time that I can fit into smaller clothes. There is a Brooks Brothers polo shirt which is a “large” that I haven’t worn since my first year in college. This fantastically green beautifully woven polo is my only and last ship. There is no turning back now, and I have no alternative. I also know I wouldn’t be able to stomach repurchasing clothes at my previous large sizes; the cheap Korean in me would just implode.
So here’s to you Herman Cortes for doing something more than 500 years ago which has given fat guys like me a reason to scuttle their former wardrobes.