Day Before the Mudder

Prior to take off while still on the ground in DC, I was walking down the aisle on my way to my seat when I realized that I was having an anxiety attack.  I could feel as I stepped closer and closer to my row, my heart beating faster and faster.  As I walked down the aisle, I made sure to look straight ahead, because if I caught the glaring eyes of other passengers staring at me, I’m sure I would have passed out.

When you’re obese, you hate sitting in a full row, as much as the two people next to you hate your existence.  It’s like a game of Russian Roulete, you can see it in peoples eyes, as you walk down the aisle, their eyes getting bigger as you get closer, and you the obese one can’t help but have a mental image of Bob Barker standing next to someone spinning the Prices Right Wheel saying “No Whammy, No Whammy!”, when you pass someone who is sitting next to an open seat you can almost feel the tension release from their bodies.  Then you find your seat, and give someone the bad news, “That’s my seat”, you watch with your sad fat eyes, as a piece of that person dies a slow death.

I fortunately only endured this a handful of times, because my sister who is awesome used to travel quite a bit for work, so she has a few hundred thousand miles banked, whenever I needed to fly she would always buy me a First Class plane ticket without hesitation, I’m her baby brother and she knew how much stress I would feel the night before, during, and after any flights anywhere.

As I approached the row I felt like a guy walking the plank of a pirate ship, if it hadn’t been for the need to see where I was going, I ‘m sure I would have blindfolded myself.  Standing in front of the row I was supposed to sit in, I told the guy, that’s my seat, he looked annoyed got up and let me pass.

I tried to figure out how best to squeeze in, and then turn around to sit my ass down, I felt like I was taking my right foot and stepping off of the edge of the plank, uncertain about where, when and how I would land.  When my ass finally touched the seat, I was thoroughly surprised at the fact that the two armrests weren’t rubbing against my meaty thighs.

I didn’t have to have get lubed up to fit my fat legs into the seat.

I actually had plenty of space, and I was able to buckle the seatbelt around me without an extender.  I then realized the guy I was sitting next to, was just an asshole, and wasn’t annoyed that the fat guy was his traveling partner.

If there ever was a moment to use a Charlie Sheen phrase, it was in that moment, can you saying Wiiinning?

The emotional lift that I had from being able to sit into the airline seat would have helped me get through a 12-hour flight, so the 2 and half hour one from DC to Minnesota was nothing.  Once we landed I grabbed my gear, and found a taxi to take me to Downtown Minnepolis, I was shocked to find out that the cab ride average from the airport to the hotel would be about $40. 

WTF?  China boy may have thought shit was cheap in the Midwest, but China boy was wrong.

When I got to the hotel I was able to check in, which normally doesn’t happen when you arrive at a hotel at 9 AM in the morning, so I was relieved to be able to dump my crap in my room.  I then made my way up to the “Executive Lounge”, which is on the 25^th floor, where they give a complimentary breakfast and dinner for the high rolling Hilton Honors guests who have achieved Baller Status like Sherri. 

I saw Sherri, and Angela sitting together, and it made me feel a deep emotional pang the kind that only occurs when you see people who mean a great deal to you, you feel elation coupled with a tiny sense of loss the moment you see them, because you know your time together is fleeting.

We had a group hug, which is actually a strange thing because Angela doesn’t hug.  Angela is someone who I developed a strong connection with at the resort, which is something I never anticipated. 

When I first saw her during a 6 AM Dynamic Warm-up with Sam, I remember thinking who is this Skinny Bitch?

She further infuriated me because during the hikes she would often times run, and run ahead of the group she was in, she was nimble and had the endurance of a long distance runner.  It’s easy to say I didn’t like her, even though I found her attractive, she was still a skinny bitch invading my fat camp experience.

In week two of my visit, we were put into the same group, which meant that other than the hikes we would spend all of our sessions in the same group.  I don’t remember when it started perhaps it started during meals; but I started to talk to her and got to know her.  I realized how cool she was, and I was amazed to find that she was a former fat girl, who found a healthier lifestyle through running, and becoming a Vegan. 

She further smote me during the workouts; because this Skinny Bitch had a workout intensity that matched my own, she had a single focus, which I respected.  I remember one time during some group training we were doing planks for a 1 minute at time, and I could barely stay up, 20 seconds into our first minute and I dropped to my knees, and I heard this roar which said “Come On Louis!”, it scared the shit out of me, and I popped right back up and stayed in the plank until the minute was over.

By the end of the second week, we had developed a friendship; along with a handful of other people we had formed a clique.  At the end of her second week it was hard saying goodbye, but I remember thinking I would see this person again at some point in my life.  I don’t know where that notion comes from, but there are those you meet and never see again and your okay with that, but then there are others who you just know you will see again, even if it’s only one more time in your life.

I will tell you that Angela is a fantastic person, who has a great sense of humor, is fiercely loyal to those she keeps close, and is neurotic in a cute way.  I was sitting shotgun in her car on the way to the Mudder, and I started touching buttons on her new navigation screen, and she freaked out, I had crossed into her bubble, but rather than thinking holy shit you’re a psycho, I thought that’s pretty funny, I really want to do it again, but I also don’t want to annoy her, but I really want to push the buttons again.

Sherri, Angela and I spent most of the day together, waiting for Kent.  I was questioning Angela about Minneapolis, for someone who’s lived their most of her life, she doesn’t know much about her city, but I’m sure that’s how most of are with the places we live in, it’s strange how in our day to day lives we ride a specific pattern of life that creates blinders to everything else around us, there’s that and the fact that Angela is in witness protection.

When Kent arrived we walked down to meet him at the Metro.  It was about 9 blocks from the hotel, and during the walk I found myself thinking Minneapolis is strangely cool.  The city is young, there are lots of hip places to go, and the summer time weather is really nice.

The timing of our walk was perfect; we met up with Kent as he got off the train. 

Insert another group hug here…

Walking back to the hotel from the train was awesome; the excitement we all felt was palpable.  It’s that excitement that only comes from reuniting with dear friends.  When we got back to the hotel, we spent sometime talking in my room, which had a couch, and coffee table.

I think there was a bit of mutual fascination going on, as we stared at each others faces, each person looking better than the last time we saw each other.

We had dinner at Bar La Grassa, a hip little place near Angela’s condo.  The executive chef is a James Beard winner.  The menu is based in Italian cuisine with fresh pastas, a series of bruschettas, and a selection of antpasti, but it’s almost like the punk rock version of these foods.  True to the original flavors, but executed with an edge.  One of the ala carte items we ordered was a plate of mushrooms roasted in butter, I’m sure I would whore myself for some more. 

Other than the crazy Vegan in our group we ordered family style and shared our dishes.  The food was all really good, with a small complaint on the salt level in our pastas.

After Dinner we called it an early night, so we could wake up for our 8 AM pick up time, which meant that Angela would probably arrive at 7:45 and wait for 15 minutes.

During the night, I woke up 3 times to go to the bathroom, it felt like I had a load in my gut, but nothing was happening.  Yes, I did have some of the pasta, and yes I would pay the price. 

End Part I here…