Woke up this morning feeling great, took the dog for a walk and he actually pooped without causing me to have to drag him halfway down a block.  The weather was great, I wasn’t sore anywhere and I just felt good about being alive this morning.  I felt like Toby McGuire in Spiderman when Peter Parker decides to quit being Spiderman, and the song “Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head” plays. 

Then I started my workout with Ian, when I met him at the front door of my building he gave his patented head dipping, slightly squinting, almost wicked witch like evil laughter and says this is going to be fun.  I’ve long learned after numerous torturous events that trainers saying “fun”, is like a prison guard with his hand on the switch of the electric chair saying to the condemned this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you.  In other words it’s the very antithesis of what they say, or in laymen’s terms utter bullshit.

We did another “metcon” workout today.  Metcon is short for metabolic conditioning.  I’m not sure as the actually etymology of the word but is part of the Crossfit lexicon.  In the simplest terms it’s a workout which involves short circuit routines done at high intensity, with small spurts of rest between circuits.  

Metabolic conditioning is essentially any exercise which is oriented to train your body to increase the “storage and delivery of energy for any activity”.  There are three metabolic pathways; the first two are anaerobic, while the third one is aerobic.  We know that aerobic exercises increase cardiovascular endurance, and help to stimulate fat loss.  The downside with prolonged aerobic exercise is the decrease in muscle tissue.  Anaerobic exercises on the other hand help to stimulate muscle growth and can help increase cardiovascular function.  By using short high intensity workouts to stimulate your anaerobic pathways you are maximizing both the ability to increase your hearts ability to work, and create muscle tissue which is not only strong and powerful, but fast as well.  Further anaerobic work stimulates fat loss at a higher rate than aerobic exercise. 

Back to the “That Sucks Workout” (his workouts should be called that sucks because the only thing you as the participant says is that sucks).  Ian had me warm up a little bit doing a true warm up.  He likes to get blood flowing to the muscle groups which we will work.  I started with some simple lunges, trunk twists, and a handful of relatively simple motions, yet I could feel tension, and movement in areas that I normally don’t focus on, so either I’m building muscle and feeling it for the first time, or I’ve just never worked those areas before.  

The heart of the workout involved doing 5 exercises each for one minute, with a one minute rest at the end of the fifth movement.  I repeated this cycle three times.  This is the very definition of a Metabolic Conditioning Workout.

My Metcon circuit involved first a clean and squat, then burpees on the bench but using a medicine ball as my flat surface for my hands, medicine ball thrusters, bicycle kicks while leaning backwards with my hands in the air which Ian calls “hell bike”, and then step ups with dumbbells. 

 
At the end of round one I thought it wasn’t going to be too bad today, then after round two I started to think let me just finish strong, towards the end of round three I was having a hard time with my balance, and at the end I thought well I guess I know what he means by “fun”.

We finished with 20 minutes of core work.  What I realize is that Ian is a better trainer than most I have dealt with because he explains things better, and then makes sure you are in the correct position and posture before you start working.  As a result I did Russian Twists today and felt my obloquies for the first time.  Russian Twists requires you to hold a medicine ball in front of you and to touch the ground with the ball on each side of you, while you lean back slightly engaging your core for balance.  In the past I’ve had trainers have me do this motion but apparently not in the right position, because today was the first day that it really sucked. 

After my workout I took my mother to a local park to change up her therapy routine.  Inside I’m turning into a devious trainer cocksucker, (thanks Woo<Deadwood Reference if you don’t get it watch it>).  She thought it would be a nice stroll in the park, but no I made it so hard that afterwards she fell asleep in the car snoring like I do without my C-Pap machine. 

I basically turned the 2 mile walk into a cross training course, with leg oriented exercises every so often.  At the end of it I had to chase her down, to try and stop her from running away.  It must have looked like an AAAsian Gang Banger trying to chase down a senior citizen for her purse.

Right after lunch I went to one of the washes to go through resumes as I am trying to hire a new assistant manager at both facilities.  I am going through a ton of resumes it’s hard trying to filter through the crap.  In my ad I posted that the title of the advertisement must be placed in the subject line of the e-mail, and that all e-mails without this information would be deleted.  I end up having to delete 30% of the e-mails before I even open them, people clearly looking for jobs don’t pay attention to what the job description is they only look at the salary and apply.  I wonder what percentage of the unemployed today are just unemployable (because they either lack skills or shoot for jobs beyond their ability).  In fact all the good resumes I’ve seen, and most of the people that have gotten an interview from me are people who already have jobs. 

So far I’ve placed 5 ads, received 400 resumes (only advertised on craigslist.org), and deleted more than 120 based on stupidity, have ended up deleted 250 purely on the basis of the wrong qualifications, being overqualified, or giving me a bad feeling, which has left about 30 that I have kept in my inbox, then printed 15-20 have tried to call all those resumes that I printed, and have reached 10 (again why apply for a job if you don’t answer the phone), and done a handful of interviews.  Trying to hire, and hire well is like trying to lose weight, its slow, tedious, and about as much fun as doing an hour of cardio on a treadmill in the dark with no music or television.

I bring up the point about my hiring woes, because my health being in a better state has put my mind in a whole new paradigm.  I’m not afraid to spend more time to hire, to hire the right person because I am able to handle the additional workload, and the level of effort required to train someone good, rather than keeping the same people who don’t perform because I’m tired.  Before I felt so shitty all the time that I would have hired the first douche bag I interviewed as long as he was breathing, eligible to work, and didn’t look like someone who would scare the shit out of small children. 

As I gain more control over my body I am just developing a deeper sense of control over my entire life.  I feel focused, mentally alert, and not afraid to push myself with how hard I work.  I’ve always had a good work ethic, but my energy levels would be very cyclical.  My body could probably only handle about one good week of work a month, today I feel charged up to take on the entire year.  I also feel a sense of accomplishment with each pound that I lose, which makes me more goal oriented.

The years of not being able to lose weight made me feel trapped, and that whatever goal I set forth was pointless because I couldn’t lose a pound.  I would just be angry and upset all the time frustrated with where I am in life, and feeling of dread that everything would always be the same.  Today I feel I am in control of my destiny, it’s like I’m 19 again. 

Fuck the journey; this evolution is for real and permanent.  I won’t ever go back to being 400 lbs, and I won’t ever go back to a life which puts the control mechanisms in the hands of others, my mind will actuate everything that which I conceive to its final achievement.  Each day that passes where I feel this strong and in control is a win regardless of how the scale ends up.  Each day that passes into a new one where I continue down this evolving life is a place of personal Zen.