Another night of less than 8 hours of sleep, I’m in this rut in terms of sleeping habits, and I can’t seem to break out of it.  After the training, and the cardio I get home have dinner, and then my mind shuts down for an hour or two.  By the time I realize what time it is I have to walk the dog, clean up, and go to bed.  This normally doesn’t all get finished until 1-2 AM.  I sleep until 7 AM and I’m on the road starting my next day.

I’ve been in this rut in the past, and often times the lack of sleep would be coupled with over consumption of everything possible.  I would eat to compensate for my tired state of being, which is insane because what does the eating of energy have to do with fatigue caused by a lack of rest.  I found myself at several points this week reaching for something that I wouldn’t normally eat and then bitch slapping myself into consciousness and putting down whatever I’d picked up.  A few times I ended up eating a Mini Luna bar or an Apple just to overcome the need to consume something.

Maybe I enabled my bad habit a bit, but it was enough to keep me away from fried chicken, or pizza.  I could really go for a slice of ‘ZA, the starchy bready goodness holding all that sauce and cheese.  One of my favorite things used to be to eat cheese, crackers, and well mixed charcuterie, so the melted cheesy goodness sitting underneath fatty meats found in a high quality pizza is one of the few things I’ve craved.  When I’ve had an opportunity for a cheat meal I have tried not to stray too far from the reservation, so I feel I am a few pounds away from treating myself to pizza.  A new pizza place opened up near my house, which claims to serve “New Haven Style” pizza.  I never knew there was a New Haven style, so I am eager to try it out.

My eating today was back on track, after a slip up yesterday where I didn’t eat enough or frequently enough, I was vigilant about checking the time and eating something when my body needed it.  I am trying to not only consume foods which are more conducive for a lighter body, but trying to create healthy sustainable habits.  At lunch I took a close business associate who has become my friend to lunch, partially to celebrate his youngest son’s recent high school graduation, but also because I hadn’t seen the old fart in a long time. 

We ended up eating at McCormick and Shmicks in Tyson’s Corner.  I was disappointed that for a seafood restaurant that the variety of fish that they source is weak (I never paid attention before), in fact most of the fish they serve is farmed.   Further the preparations for most of their fish entrées has some type of breading, when it doesn’t have breading it’s cooked in a rich sauce.  So at a seafood restaurant I had a steak salad for lunch, which I’m sure was a corn fed cow.

When eating out I have turned into “that guy”, you know the picky asshole who wants everything like Burger King, his way.   I made sure that the feta cheese, and the dressing was served on the side, and that the steak was grilled and not finished with anything.  I also had the server make sure the number of ounces of beef served in my salad, I was told about 6 oz.  After several lunches this week because of work or family, I am feeling confident in my ability to go out to a restaurant with people and finding something I am willing to eat.

After lunch I went back to work, and left work around 5:00 to get to my personal training session.

Before my workout with Ali I warmed up on the treadmill for 16 minutes walking at a speed of 3.1 miles, and raising the incline for 1 minute at a time.  When we got started Ali had me begin with the TRX, doing jump squats, and shuffle jump squats.  I then did a minute of Bosu side steps which was just a warm up for the side step and press I did with the weight bar.  We worked for another 10 minutes inside, doing full body exercises, including a new exercise he calls Spiderman.  I had to pull on two sides of the free motion machine, and then release cables slowly, while using my legs to jump up and allowing the machine to pull me up.  Once at the top I dropped back down, and pulled the cables with my back muscles.  This might be my next favorite exercise, it’s tougher than I thought but the slight feeling of weightlessness as the machine pulls you up reminds me of being a happy kid.  What a dichotomy in this exercise the joy of weightlessness of being a kid, and then having to pull the weight down like the responsibility of and adult life weighing you down.

With the weather being nice today, I mean really nice.  Ali took me outside; he brought a single dumbbell, a mat for me to lie on, and the TRX.  While outside I did two circuits of exercises, the first one I had to do mountain climbers for 1 minute, 10 Turkish Get Ups on each side of my body, and then 1 minute of TRX squats.  The second circuit involved 1 minute of burpees, 5 more Turkish Gets on Each Side of my body, 1 minute of TRX side lunges, TRX bicep curls, and TRX triceps extensions, with leg throws following the TRX.  Then we ran back to the gym which was only about 2 blocks.  I was surprised to see how much faster I’ve gotten. 

Once back inside we did some more boxing, a couple more exercises on the free motion machine, and finished with another minute of Spiderman.  After the workout with Ali I thought about going home, and resting, but my guilt and the desire to finish the weeks plan pushed me into a session of treading.

When I started the Treading session my legs didn’t have much energy to push the Arc the Trainer.  I started with a six minute intense cycle, when I initiated the first cycle I tried to set the incline to 100 and the resistance to 20.  What I soon realized was that I couldn’t push fast enough to get my heart rate up, so I lowered the resistance to 80.  During the first recovery period of 6 minutes I lowered the incline to 10, and the residence to 40, again I realized my heart rate was dropping faster than I wanted so I decreased the resistance to 30 so I could move my feet faster.  I was able to finish an hour on the Arc Trainer (Treading 6,6,5,5,4,4,3,3,2,2,1,1.).  When I finished I felt great, because I had finished the weeks plan, yet I couldn’t help but feel should have I listened to my body and just gone.

This week was a great week because I was able to get back on the program after a week of recovery, although I’m not sure how I will feel next Monday.  I think because of boredom, and partial exhaustion I am going to have to vary my weekly schedule, and cycle the weeks were I put in two a days.  The number of hours I’m spending in the gym is also affecting my work and personal life.  I am going to try and find some balance in the upcoming weeks, yet the desire to get 300 is preventing me from slowing down even a tinge.

Massage this weekend, and the washes look like they will be busy, so I will still have a full weekend.  Next week I moved my workouts to the early morning to see if that would help in getting me to sleep sooner. 

In trying to lose weight I am finding myself, I am finding the person I was, and the person I want to become, on a daily basis through this struggle I am learning things about my mental fortitude, and my determination.  I can also feel an innate foreshadowing of what the future holds for me, when walking the dog I have these moments of images of things I want places I want to be, and I can’t help but smile, as I am learning that I can create whatever destiny l choose.