It’s March 05th 2011.
It is really hard not to get frustrated. I am working my ass OFF! 90 Minute Workouts 3 times a week, these are intense workouts. This week when I did back exercises as part a superset I used a 60lb dumbbell for 12 reps (per-side)over the course of four sets. I wish I had video of that one because I felt like a beast, yet I’m sure the way it actually appeared was a baby elephant having a seizure.
I feel strong…Really strong…the strongest I’ve probably ever been in my life…I also feel fat. Really fat, I weighed in yesterday morning at 371. If there ever was a rollercoaster of weight loss, I am perpetually on it. I am really looking forward to my trip to Malibu in 2 weeks, I am very hopeful that the controlled diet over the course of 14 days will help break some of the habits which are causing me to stay obese.
Orson Welles wrote “Whoever controls the past, controls the future, and whoever controls the present, controls the past…” The context of this sentiment is from 1984, on the surface it helps to define the revisionist history that is being produced by the “party” in the book, in an effort to control the masses. In so much as the “party” can never be wrong, the “party” is ALWAYS correct.
Yet in the deeper understanding of this sentiment one has to realize that we can only control the present, the moment. These moments are what shapes our past, and inevitably shapes our future. I am at a point in my life where I think I truly understand the idea of living in the moment. It is hard to overcome years of poor habits, and unaccountable behavior (in so much as we are all accountable to ourselves), and if I continue to walk down this reoccurring corridor of folly, I will continue to reach ever so closer to the same result of being obese, and living a long life of unhappy being…I must embrace the moments, which will shape the changes in my life that are necessary to overcoming obesity.