6:00 AM Dynamic Stretch with Sam.  A clear indication that the people who are staying here this week are ”lamer” than those that were here last week, Monday stretch full, Tuesday Stretch 30% less, Wednesday stretch less than 30% of Mondays participation.  As usual the “stretch” was more of a warm-up; it is a great way to get the blood moving throughout your body but perhaps isn’t the best way to “stretch” out tight muscles.

8:00 AM Beach Hike with vans 5, 6, & 7.  Another indicator that this week is very different from last week, of the 6 hikes we did last week not a single person ever quit.  Zuma, Solstice, Castro’s Way, there was never anyone in our group who just said “No I can’t go anymore”; it was inspiring to watch people work through difficult moments in the hike.  Members of our group were committed to finishing there was never a question about finishing the hike.

This week is full of quitters.  I just want to ask these people “Why the Fuck did you pay $3000.00 to come and act like a bitch?”  “Did you not read the website or brochure which tells you that this place is about having your ass kicked?”  If Sharon (who is a badass warrior in disguise) who is essentially hiking on one good knee can get through the hike without complaining, then I think Dr. N Chief Lameo could at least try to do the entire hike.

4-5 people on our van either didn’t do the entire course, or halfway through just gave up and turned back to the vans.  It hasn’t affected my personal performance, but it sucks to be surrounded by such mediocre behavior, when last week we were swimming in excellence.

Relative to last week’s beach hike today was far more difficult because the sand was softer.  Within the first 5 minutes of the hike my feet were in pain from the constant contorting as it sank deeper into the sand.  I’m sure I got a great calf muscle workout, but it was not a fun experience.  Fortunately the weather was fantastic!  It was the kind of sunny day that I have been waiting on since I got to California. 

A personal triumph today, there is a final hill which is somewhat of a bonus, and that I really struggled on last week.  In fact I had to stop twice on the way up.  Today I did this hill 5 times without stopping.  My reward for attacking this hill numerous times, is my first California Star f-er moment.   

As I was going back down a guy in a white hat and cheesy mustache was coming up hill.  I had seen him running on the beach earlier when I was still hiking on the beach, he looked like a maintenance man.  My initial thought was, that’s cool it’s a Mexican maintenance guy working out without his shirt. 

When I got closer to him, I looked over to say hi, we made eye contact very briefly, on closer inspection he didn’t look like a Mexican maintenance guy, but a douchie porn star.  This mustache looks like it was put on his face with spirit gum.  I immediately starting to catalog my “modest” porn collection in my mind to see if I could pick this guy out, I couldn’t place him, on the return back up the hill I passed him again.  I took another look, and thought I recognized the guy.  When he passed me I turned around and looked back at him, he had a huge tattoo across his back.  I then realized it was Anthony Kedis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.   Good disguise Anthony; if not for the tattoo I would have thought I had seen a porn star.

11:15 AM Circuit Training with Sam.  I apparently have a man crush on Sam.  Every class he teaches I put out easily 10% more.  There is no thought to it; I just push harder when Sam is teaching the class.  Perhaps it’s the way he teaches, or the way he pushes buttons, because I just try harder.  I had a significant breakthrough in this class today.  I have used the Circuit Training classes to get my weight training in and to cruise through the cardio, yet today I was able to get my lifting in and keep my heart rate up to burn more calories.  It’s the first time I have sweat through a shirt during this class.

1:15 PM Ass kicking by Sam.  This was my third personal training session this week, and my second this week with Sam.  I felt like shit when I started this class.  I had already sweated through three shirts and the afternoon was just starting.  Let me break this down by sections of misery.

Treadmill Ass Kicking.  We started on the treadmill.  I was not ready for this mentally or physically.  I started the day exhausted and had continued to deteriorate as the day went on.  The “warm up” started with a speed of 3.2 mph, and an incline of 9.  We stayed at this level for about five minutes.  I was told by Sam that every time I grab the bar or the side rails on a treadmill I am reducing the workload by 30%, therefore I am not allowed to put my hands anywhere on the treadmill. 

After the start up the incline increased to 14 and the speed was reduced to 2.8 mph.  We then went through a series of intervals were I walked 1 minute and then walked the next minute with a 12lb bar around my neck, I would then get another 1 minute of just walking, and then have to hold a 12lb medicine ball for 1 minute.  This was hard. 

After minute 10 he increased the incline to 15 and the speed to 5 mph.  I was then instructed to do intervals of sprints.  The first sprint lasted 20 seconds.  I wanted to cry. After my breathing slowed down a tiny bit I had to do it again.  We did these several more times, and I’m not sure how long we actually did this feat because I was only focused on not falling off of the treadmill.  By the end of this routine I was ready to get off the treadmill, but Sam had a different idea.

With the treadmill still running so we could use the timer as a clock, I placed my feet on the side safety steps, and grabbed the middle bar.  I was then told to do squats for five minutes.  Inside I wanted to yell out FIVE FUCKING MINTUES?  During the five minutes of squats Sam periodically would tell me to hold the position at the bottom of the squat, he would also tell me to bounce up and down in the same stance.  Each time he had me do this I would get back up and just yell “FUCK!”   I think I scared him because the first time I yelled out he asked if I had injured myself, I told him no these 15 second holds just really suck. 

Medicine Ball and Bench Ass Kicking.  The next section of the workout we superset activities with the medicine ball, and used the bench as a step up tool.  First minute medicine ball overhead slams, followed by single leg step ups, second minute side twisting medicine ball slams followed by 20 jump ups to the bench (yes my big ass jumped up onto a bench that is about knee high…if pigs could fly right…), and finally one minute of medicine ball 1 handed overhead slams followed by lateral side steps up and over bench.  I almost fell on face a few times on the lateral side steps because I was not allowed to have both feet on the bench at the same time. 

Big Ass Rope Ass Kicking.  Similar to last week’s session we worked the rope using one hand, two hands, up and down, sideways, and finished the session with the same up and over the ball from last week.  See videos below:

2:30 PM Swimming with Katrina.  Can anyone say out of control gymnastic/aerobics instructor?  Katrina is not a very good teacher.  This is the second pool class I have had with her, and it always seems that people stare at each other during her class.   No one has a clue on how to start some of her assigned activities; she is also really bad about tracking the time, which is ridiculous because the class was an interval class were time is the heart of the function.  Her Rah-Rah attitude is not for me. 

3:30 PM Cardio Kickboxing with Ursula.  This class was similar to the one we had last week, except for today I got to partner with one of the few people here we doesn’t need to lose weight.  She would disagree but Angela (my handholding pool partner) really doesn’t need to lose weight.  I think she would achieve her personal goals faster by working on toning, she’s at that point I wish I was which is to shape and not lose.  I realize that it probably seems like I’m saying she is disfigured but that’s not the case.  I just remember her walking in the first day thinking…okay…why are you here?  She BTW is also the lead runner in Van 7. 

I like this class because I get to take out my frustrations.  I think my inner hostility towards any number of things gets to leave my body in this class.  I sweated through my shirt, again.  In working with runny girl I hope I helped motivate her and not piss her off with my constant pushing, I did feel bad that she had to hold the bag because I think as a result of my brutish punching she cut her knuckles inside the cheap ass gloves.  Louis your new Delta Tau name is rib-eye. 

Speaking of steaks my room sits next to a pasture that has a real cow, and I hear this bitch mooing every morning.  I am a few days away from heading down there to get my red meat fix, I almost feel as if the mooing is a taunt.  The moo actually sounds like a laugh, it doesn’t sound like mooooo, but mooha-mooha.

4:30 PM Mountain with Katrina.  Twice in one day really?  Mountain is normally 12, 3 minute increments each increment increasing in intensity.  Hence it builds progressively like steps or like climbing a Mountain.  Mary Lou obnoxious decided she would only do 6, 3 minute increments and 3, 5 minute increases.  This didn’t bother me as much as her constant yapping.  I don’t say this about many people but she likes to hear herself talk.   Of the 40+ minutes of cardio I think she talked for 20+ minutes.  It’s not just “you can do it type of stuff”, but a constant barrage of cheerleader psycho crap.  The more I tried to ignore her the more I heard her through my headphones.  I did get through this class, but it felt like I was in this class for a couple of hours.

At the close of the day today I feel proud of what I accomplished.  I wonder how much of the difficulties I felt today were the direct result of how I went to bed, not looking forward to today.  I got thru the day, having pushed passed several plateaus.  In terms of growth it was a gigantic leap forward.  I really am progressing hour by hour here, I didn’t think I was going to develop this fast.    

While taking my clothes to the laundry tonight all from today I realized that in order to make this place work week in and week out, you have to approach each week like it was your first.  The last time I filled the clothes basket in one day was on day one, so today was my second day 1. 

My equation is quite simple in order to sweat your heart rate has to go up near anaerobic levels, in order to burn lots of calories my heart rate has to go up near anaerobic levels, therefore the more I sweat the more calories I’m burning.  See I’m smart, smrt, smrt…

I am looking forward to our hike up Zuma ridge tomorrow.  I am Santiago and Zuma is my tenacious fish. 

By for now…

You can't tell me if you put a white trucker cap on this guy, he doesn't look like San Fernando Valley Cowboy!